hey hey im back. i was supposed to post up a MAJOR PHOTO BLOG but i found some jokes that i wanna share. ill post up pics tomz or end of the week keke. hope u like these jokes... A priest and a pastor from two local churches are standing by the side
of the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that reads: The End Is Near!
Turn Yourself Around Now --
Before It's Too Late! As a car sped past them, the driver yelled, "Leave us alone, you
religious nuts!" From the curve, they heard screeching tires and a big splash. The pastor turns to the priest and asks, "Do you think the sign
should just say 'Bridge Out'?"
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An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.
Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have
beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the
horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a
tap on her window and looked up into the
face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she
was searched, finger printed, photographed,
and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman
approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk
where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him "I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday- School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally... I assumed you had stolen the car."
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A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his
parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that
someone was at home, but no answer came to his
repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a
card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and
stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed
the following Sunday, he found that his card had been
returned. Added to it was this cryptic message,
"Genesis 3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out
the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door
and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in
the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."
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On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.
One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy, .Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence. Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. "Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls." The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..." The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord. At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done." They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the boy on the bike.
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nice? prop me!!! hehe | 
